Anonymous authority

Where is the authority? Who is the authority? Against who will you revolt?

I was reflecting about the paper played by authority in social structures across the history till I get to the conclussion that, in nowadays society, it has dissapeared, at least from a traditional point of view.
When it's analyzed, in past systems such as feudalism, absolutism or in the early years of capitalism, there had always existed a figure that represented the authority (the patron, the king, etc.) and individuals could choose wether obey or not. If one decided to revolt, he could do it against a real person, against someone and, eventually, if many others decided the same, they could make fall that authority and the whole system behind it. But nowadays, is this a posibility?

Who is the authority in modern society? Some might answer the public order forces, but those just control that people follow some coexistence rules in most of the cases, they don't tell people what they have to do, they don't determinate their life. Maybe the authority lies on politicians, bankers or directors of big companies. This can make sense at first, but if we look at it closely, then will notice that this groups haven't a different life from people belonging to lower groups, they only have more buying power, but live inside the system like any other. So, where is the authority then? The answer is pretty simple: it has diluted, has dissapeared, has turned anonymous... the authority is the system itself. We've invented an economic macro-structure and become slaves of our own creation, even the top social groups. Day by day, we get up, go to work, buy things we don't need, go to have fun to the same places and, at the end, this doesn't make anyone happy. Then why do we do it? Because it's our 'duty', but we are not told to do it. We've internalized the system demands till make us 'ours'. Blinded by alienation and conformity, we can't realize that we're trapped inside a macro-structure that has scaped from our control and become a monster. Its aim is the development of economy, but what is the goal of this? Towards what does society walk? This question hasn't got an answer, because, after all, the system is completely irrational, it only grows wildly, without any real purpose. And, obviously, this situation cannot continue indefinitely. A structure in which humans are means to an end will destroy us. But the most devastating conclusion is that there isn't any posibilities of change because, if the authority has become anonymous, nobody can revolt agains nobody.

I've described here one of the problems of modern society in a superficial and informal way. Obviously, it is much more complex and many other reasonings and conclusions can be applied and obtained, but it wasn't my aim to show all of them here.

Salad days

Long summers by the sea,
the sun shining in your eyes
like your new heart,
your new hope.

Salad days,
a white rose in your hands,
happy hours passing by
while everyone smiles at you.

But once you were told
the world was so cold
and you will find
it's true.

We all kill what we love
and what we love kills us.
Even our best feeling is poisoned
so, what hope can you have left?

Salad days went away
a lot of seasons ago.
Your white rose
now is withered.

All you have left is
a brutal yearning of yesterday
when the world was warmer
and life was easier,

When your heart
didn't show scars.
Before all your myths
fell.

Once you were told
world was so cold
and you've found
it was true.

We all kill what we love
and what we love kills us.
Even our best feeling is poisoned
so, what hope can you have left?

Regrets for unspoken words

She's just a girl with so much things trapped inside herself. A spiral of rage, sadness and bitterness nests in her heart. She's like a shadow, no one notices her, no one suspects what's in her mind, no one would say she's a complex being with complex feelings. Because she always remains in silence. People tend to think she's innocent, but she's not. And it seems to her she never will fit in anywhere.
He is sitting next to her, on the ground, talking. He has an extraordinary intelligence, but he's suffered a lot. Nevertheless, he's quite self-assured. He still talks. In one moment, she holds her head up and stares at him, because he's describing exactly the way she feels. She would want to tell him she thinks as him, but she remains in silence. The arguing ends and he gets up from the ground, hurt. As she looks at him while he's walking away, experiments the urge of running after him, of shouting at him that she understands him. But she remains on silence while her heart bleeds.
When he's gone, she gets up as well and made her way back home. Dark thoughts crosses her mind. Halfway, it starts rainning. She doesn't have an umbrella, so she walks under the rain, alone. Her tears mix with raindrops.
                          
                             *******
She's sitting in a waiting room. He approaches her and takes a seat by her side. They start talking. They hadn't talked before, but for one time she breaks her silence and feel comfortable. She's dying to tell him about what he said some days ago, but she's not brave enough. Anyway, he's able to see into her eyes what other people can't and realizes her soul is like his. Other people join the conversation and she hides in the silence again. After some minutes, he walks away again.
                             *******
She stands up inside the plane. He's sitting in the next row. There's an empty seat by his side. He looks back towards her. Their eyes meet. She's dying to sit next to him, but remains quite. She hasn't enough courage and takes her seat again.
                           *******
They're waiting for their suitcases. It's time to say goodbye. Surprisingly for her, he walks towards and hugs her while he whispers in her ear: 'How good you are'. For a second, she feels something moving inside her heart. Then he walks away from her life forever. Only emptyness and regrets for unspoken words are left in her heart.

That strange taste of yours

Today I've taken my parents to the mall. Don't think I like those places. At the contrary, in my opinion their the most disgusting thing of advanced capitalism, because it is like: 'I'm bored, what we could do? Let's go to the mall and wander around looking at shops and buying stuff we don't need at all'. Pathetic. Nauseous.

But sometimes you can't avoid going. My parents wanted to print some photos of a holidays and they needed me to operate the machine in the photograph shop. When we've finished and was walking towards the exit, we've passed by a stand where they sell rock stuff, from bands t-shirts to old vinyl records. I've stopped and started looking between the cds labeled under garage/ punk rock, while my parents stood watching. As I expected, there wasn't much underground stuff, but I've found a box with some albums of The Clash that seemed cool. When I was examining this box, my dad has approached me and asked: 'What is that?' And I answered: 'The Clash'. And he's said: 'Pppfff...That strange taste of you for everything'. The woman in the stand was listening with interest our conversation. I've left the box and joined my parents outside.

I'm sure my dad has no idea about who The Clash were. In their heydays, my parents were just two 'discoteque kids' who only listened and liked the mainstream hits of the moment and can't think that music can have an artistic or social value or can be independent from the industry. They are the kind of people that say they like a band when they haven't even listened to a full album of that band. The thing is that they think they know a lot about music, and I'm not gonna be the one who show them their error cause, who knows? Maybe they're right.

My dad comment on my music taste has brought me back to the days of my teenage when I used to torture my parents with my rock music. They said I was going to kill them. And they just listened to the half of the music I liked, cause I kept punk for myself. I still don't want to think what my mom would have say in those days if she would have found out I listened to punk rock. In those years, my parent's opinion had a big influence in my life, till the point they always decided for me, directly or indirectly, and I always did what I thought I had to do to not dissapoint them. They sometimes told me how proud they were of me and when I heard that, I hoped to die, because I didn't feel proud of myself at all. I was a coward who didn't have enough courage to do what she wanted just once. I felt my life didn't belong to me, cause I had built it based on what others wanted. I needed it something just for me, and that was music. I never let my parents influenced my music taste. That was something all mine, and in rock music I found a way to break free, a way to feel like a rebel, a way to build my own world. I remembered when I listen to just the first note of a rock tune, I got instantly happy, cause I believed rock was the best and it would last forever.

When I was driving back home thinking about all these, I've regreted so much haven't bought The Clash box. I guess I'm still a coward sometimes.

Why does it always rain on me?

I rarely listen to Travis, but this time I felt like.
I can't sleep tonight.
Everybody's saying everything's alright
Still I can't close my eyes,
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights.
Sunny days,
where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning.
I can't stand myself,
I'm being held up by an invisible man
Still life in a shelf when
I got my mind on something else.
Sunny days,
where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning.
Oh, where did the blue skies go?
And why is it raining so?
It's so cold.
I can't sleep tonight,
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights.
Why does it always rain on me? from The man who (1999) by Travis